Unmeasured Life!

Hello and hope the days continue to treat You well. Life is short and You have shared some of your precious time with me visiting Terry’s Thoughts and reading my article. It has been a pleasure to share my thoughts with You — Thank You for stopping by!

Happiness is not about achievement of pleasure, but rather lack of desire. It arrives when we no longer have the urge to feel differently. Happiness is the state we enter when we are no longer wanting to change our state.

Somewhere along the way, we quietly changed the definition of happiness. It stopped being something that just happens and became something we’re supposed to achieve — just like a project with inputs, milestones, and progress reviews.

Meanwhile, I keep reading people are working harder at happiness than they ever worked at their jobs — chasing purpose, hunting passion, optimizing retirement like a portfolio. Bucket lists, courses, the constant low hum of is this it? Is this the fulfilling part yet?

I’m beginning to feel this ‘assignment’ harder now that I am retired. I have written on this in prior articles that when we retire, culture hands us a brief: now that work’s done,  this is the payoff chapter of our Life – Find your purpose. Ignite your passion. These are supposed to be the best years — so measure accordingly. And maybe, that’s where I am missing the (relaxation) of our ‘Encore’ phase of Life. I am (subconsciously) continuing the way I once audited my days as I did when working; forever checking whether the trip, the hobby, etc. delivered?!

That’s actually the trap — A measured one.

Now look at what retirement is: the deliberately engineered low-stress chapter fo our Life. The mortgage handled, the alarm silenced, every external excuse removed. If we continue running happiness as an achievement, this is exactly where the disappointment machine runs at full power. The good day arrives and gets inspected — was that fulfilling enough? Is this purpose?  Which might very well explain a confession we hear from retirees than will say it publicly: “I have everything I wanted and I keep waiting to feel it.“

What replaces the pursuit isn’t passion, and it isn’t purpose. It’s something quieter and much more radical: letting a day be sufficient without grading it.

I’ve read that psychology says the happiest people aren’t the ones that found purpose — they are the ones who stopped demanding that every day justify itself, and that permission to exist without producing anything changed everything.

Here’s the paradox; doing things for their own sake instead of as a means to feeling happier. Walk because it’s morning, not because walking is on the wellbeing plan. See the Friend because it’s the Friend, not because connection is important. The moment the activity stops being a measurement, it starts paying — through the one door that opens only when we stop watching it.

Maybe, just maybe being our happiest is determined by succeeding at the happiness project; rather, because we closed chasing it?!

None of this actually requires being retired — it just when the evidence finally piles high enough and we pay more attention.

If You catch yourself checking against your day — is this good enough? am I happy yet? STOP! Let the coffee, the walk, whatever’s actually happening, go unmeasured. It will feel like slacking. That feeling is how we lived our old job, wondering where we went.

Make Life better, not later, but Now! Living a fulfilled Life isn’t about having the most, it’s about making the most of what You have.

Step forward into this Encore Phase with enthusiasm. Take care of yourself, make the most of your days, and always remember:

“Never quit searching, never settle, and never give up seeking your greater purpose!“