Being A Beginner Maybe The Answer

Hello, and good day!

As always, Thank You for stopping by “Terry’s Thoughts.” I know You have many choices to select from for your reading, and I truly appreciate that you’ve chosen to spend some of it at ‘Terry’s Thoughts.’ Also, I hope your month of June has been a pleasant start to your summer and has provided You with many great moments. ( for more Brother-in-Law John, it was the Knicks winning their championship! Partially due to Coach Brown – former Indiana Pacers Assistant Coach -and- an Indiana University Stand-out, OG Anunoby )

If You have read my previous posts, You know I often reference the work of my son, Justin, whenever our perspectives align. Justin recently released a new weekly podcast titled “The Five,” which explores Life through his five key pillars: spirit, mind, body, money, and creativity. I encourage You to check it out wherever You listen to your podcasts. The latest episode, released on June 23, is titled “Loosening Your Grip,” and was aligned with my thoughts on the adjustments we often overlook when entering the retirement phase.

When we ask people about their professional lives, the answers we receive are: “I was a [profession],” or they list the committees they served on or the career milestones they achieved. Some may even confess to their desire for fame or recognition. It is a familiar conversation—we have all been there, and we have likely provided those same answers ourselves. We invested massive amounts of energy, effort, and expense into chasing ambitions that defined who we were and what our successes looked like.

The standard “script” for retirement usually goes like this: we were busy our entire careers, and now that we are retired, we find it harder than expected. We miss the structure. We may feel restless, purposeless, or low on energy. The conventional wisdom suggests the solution is simply to find new activities, stay busy, and build a routine. While helpful, this advice often misses the deeper challenge: identifying the necessary adjustments to transition into this new phase of life.

Experts often view retirement difficulty as a temporary mismatch between our old habits and the new demands of retirement. It may be true that we miss the structure and the social gap left behind at the office. This is where Justin’s discussion on “loosening your grip” hit home with me. ( I have a tendency to hold on to things longer than is necessary.)

We have all heard the definition of insanity: “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” When settling into retirement, we may attempt to navigate it using the same approach we used in our careers. It is the path of least resistance. However, if we remain at the surface level—focusing only on routines—we may miss the chance for a deeper adjustment. After demanding professional roles, the question is not just, “What do I do now?” but, “Who am I now?” Those are two very different questions.

The first can be answered with activities and scheduling. The second requires more work. This is not intended to be an academic discussion so I will briefly mention a concept developed by psychologist James Marcia in the 1960s called “identity foreclosure” that helps explain this difficulty. It classifies identity along two paths: whether a person has genuinely explored different possible identities, and whether they have committed to one. “Identity foreclosure” occurs when a person commits firmly to a specific identity—such as an occupational role—without having explored other possibilities. The research suggests that pre-retirement identities do not simply disappear when we retire; this can create a resistance to adopting new roles, potentially prolonging the transition.

I am not suggesting that everyone may experience this, but it is worth noting if You find yourself struggling to adjust. Consider acting as a “beginner” in areas that carry no professional status, developing competencies unrelated to your former expertise, and building social connections that are not tied to your previous work role. Most importantly, ask yourself, “What do I actually care about?” and take the answer seriously.

Too often, our retirement conversations are organized around the practical aspects —finances, healthcare, housing, and how to fill our time—while the identity question is left out of the planning entirely. There is a quote by Max DePree that is worth remembering, “We cannot become what we want by remaining what we are.”

This is the perfect time to “loosen your grip” on the identities we held onto for so long. Be a beginner, let’s make our “Encore” the Life we have always wanted, and step forward into this phase with enthusiasm.

Take care of yourself, make the most of your days, and always remember:

Never quit searching, never settle, and never give up seeking your greater purpose!