Are We Focusing On The Wrong (Thing)?

Hello and Thanks for stopping by ‘Terry’s Thoughts.’ I know You have many choices for checking out blog posts and spending your time, -and- I truly appreciate You taking the time to read my posts.

Over the past couple of weeks there have been a few life moments which caused me to pause and actually reminded me to consider Longevity… I would like to encourage You to consider a shift in how You view it — it’s not how long we live, rather, it’s how well we live for how long we have in Life.

I have written in past articles how retirement is more than a financial milestone – it’s a profound Life transition. There are the emotional, social and personal adjustments required to make this time of our Life more meaningful, purposeful, and fulfilling.

Retirement is not just an exit from the workforce – it’s an entrance into a vibrant new act.

Retirement is often marketed as a permanent vacation, but the reality can be more complex. Many new retirees find themselves “adrift,” facing the unexpected challenges no one prepares You for, such as; identity loss, moving beyond a corporate title to rediscovery who you are -and- what is my new purpose?

Then, there is the transition from a rigid schedule to an empty calendar; navigating new dynamics with your social connections, the lifestyle hurdles and the logics of downsizing.

Here’s what’s strange about working life: it provided us the perfect excuse to avoid becoming who we might actually be. We were too busy and work became a shield against the vulnerability of trying something new.

Retirement, our ‘Encore,’ strips away that shield. We now have all the time in the world -and- those excuses evaporate. Although, what’s terrifying? We now have the complete freedom to pursue any interest, develop any skill, explore any passion, and realizing we are not sure what we actually want.

When we were working, our days were structured by other people’s priorities. Meetings dictated when we ate lunch, (or was it; did I eat lunch? ). Deadlines determined how late our days would be. Company objectives shaped our goals. It was constraining, but also oddly comforting. Someone else had already answered the big questions about how we should spend our time.

Now? Every morning presents a blank canvas.

Don’t panic when at times, You may look at your day -and- think; “what I am going to do today?”

The terrifying part of retirement freedom eventually begins to lean towards exhilarating. It happens slowly, then suddenly, we wake up one day and realize we are not trying to fill time anymore. We’re creating it!

It’s about discovering parts of ourself that have been dormant. We become a little more patient, not because we have to be for professional reasons, but because we choose to be. We begin to listen differently, not scanning for action items but actually hearing what people say and don’t say.

I’m becoming more myself at 70 than I ever thought I was at 35 or 45 , or even 55. Back then, I was busy performing the role of a responsible professional, reliable colleague, that I never asked if that performance aligned with who I actually was.

Here is what I am (finally) accepting, step out that comfort zone, explore and try something new. Why? Because being bad at something at 70 is different than being bad at something when we were younger. There’s no career riding on failing , (and truth be told, probably the same would have been true when we were younger). No performance review will measure my progress against trying this (something new). We can be terrible and it doesn’t matter one bit!

This is the exhilarating part of retirement freedom. We get to be a beginner without the pressure to become an expert. We can try things for the joy of trying, fail for the education of failing, and quit without feeling like we’re giving up on our future.

We most likely believed retirement would be about rest. What I am discovering instead is that it’s about renewal! Not in some dramatic fashion like a Hollywood movie might portray. Rather, it is in small, daily choices to become someone we recognize but have never quite been.

Don’t let the freedom be terrifying because You feel there are too many possibilities. Begin to relax and feel something else — Curiosity. Excitement. A joy that comes from knowing that at 70, I’m not finished becoming whoever I’m meant to be.

The relief from retirement might not arrive as we believe or might be expecting. What is going to happen instead is feeling that sense of permission — Permission to be uncertain. Permission to explore. Permission to become. And while that may be scarier than any deadline we had ever faced in our career, it’s going to be more alive than anything we experienced during our career knowing exactly what each day would hold for us.

So, continue stepping forward in the ‘Encore Phase‘ with enthusiasm and eagerness -and- please continue to take care of yourself, make the most of your days -and- always remember;

“Never quit searching, never settle and never give up seeking your greater purpose!“