Be Present In Your Life…

Hello and Good Day. It’s Great to see You and Thank You for stopping by ‘Terry’s Thoughts,’ very much appreciated!

It’s been a minute from my last article. This time it was not “writer’s block” or procrastination. Denise and I made our visit to spend time with my Mom, Sisters and their Families in New Jersey -and-then a side excursion to Connecticut, (Denise has always wanted to see more of the northeast so we started with Connecticut; a short drive from New Jersey).

It’s great to have this time with my Mom and Sisters. We did not spend a great deal of time with each other over the years with us living in Indianapolis and them in Hamilton, New Jersey with the exception for the moments we happened to end up back ‘Home,’ (Midland,PA), at the same time. That was normally the 4th of July when us ‘out-of-towners’ would return for the small town 4th of July holiday celebration and time with Family. It’s a HUGE tradition in Midland and over the years, the little town has been able to preserve the tradition.

When I was considering my topic for this article, being present in your life flashed in the forefront during our visit. The time with my Mom and Sisters is spent just Together. No schedules, no plans, just the time Together. We definitely eat way too much thanks to my Brother-in-Law John, (the youngest Sister, Gina’s, husband). He is the top chef and prepares huge Family dinners while we are visiting; including home made, wood oven baked pizza. This culinary effort is John’s normal – Thanks John for the extra 5lbs! And, let’s not forget all the fresh pastries and bread available from the Italian neighborhood shops and groceries.

Anyway, during our visit I could not help and notice how relaxed I was just being in the moment those days. This, being relaxed in the moment, has not been easy for me over the years.

There was a significant number of years during my (adult) life where I was very relaxed and living in the present moment -and- then I lost the relaxation and living in the moment during the later years of my career. This is not to say I did not enjoy the later years of my career. I did. It was a matter of not truly living in the moment and being relaxed. That was totally on me!

I thought I was among a small group of people not living in their moment during these years. As it turns out, there is a great deal of people in this category. According to research by some Harvard psychologists “the average person is not present for 47% of their lives.”

Seems we spend most of our time lost in mind chatter!

I am guilty of listening to the mind chatter. Not so much the noise from the news or social media. It’s my own planning discipline I struggle with turning off!

We have the voices of doubt, anxiety, and ambition, of fear and frustration. It’s the running monologue that worries about this, wonders about this, obsessed over that. The ones that made us afraid, the ones that made usangry, the ones that annoyed us or indulged our anxieties.

Granted, (sometimes), these inner thoughts, voices are generated from moments in our life; life’s challenges or unexpected events. However, if You are like me, most of the time, these inner thoughts and voices are self-inflected.

Through my years, I let the office create these inner struggles, moments, voices to keep me from enjoying my moments in full and being totally in the present. I am referring to those times during my later years of work I would be enjoying my Family moment, vacation time, weekend watching the GrandKids in their respective sports, dance recitals, activities, etc. -and- shortly after that time was over, I immediately began to consider what I missed at the office, what’s next at the office or work day! I did not allow myself to complete the full day/moment -and- thus, was not completely enjoying the present, because I cut the present short. Crazy isn’t it!

We suffer in our imaginations, far more than we’re actually suffering in reality.  The potential of future suffering is not a reason to suffer now. On the contrary, it’s a reason to be present now. To be good now. To love and live, now.

The Stoics remind us; “the path to peace is not found through escape to exotic locales or the elimination of external impositions. It’s an inner journey. It’s a battle against the voice in our heads, not the noise out in the world. And because of that, it’s well within our control.”

During my Encore phase of my life, I promised myself, Denise, Justin and Kristin I would relax and enjoy this time of my life -and- my time with them and the GrandKids. In doing so, the voice inside can remind me of how long I’ve worked to get to this point and how wonderful it is to be at this stage of my life -and- that is it!

It may be difficult to completely shut off the inner voices. If You must listen, allow them to float off -and- remember the doorway to “Being Happy” is actually marked “Being fulfilled.” If you concentrate on living your life with purpose, the being happy part will take care of itself.

Be in your present and enjoy the days as provided to You. And as I am always told by Denise, Justin and Kristin; “stop thinking so much!”

Please make the most of your days -and- remember;

“Never quit searching, never settle and never give up seeking your greater purpose!“