How To Find The Extraordinary Meaning In Our Encore Years?

Hello and Good Day!

Hope You are enjoying -and- making the most of your days… maybe even having the luxury of Mother Nature providing the ‘spring-like teaser’ days, (what I call these early March days of temps in upper 60’s or low 70’s and plenty of sunshine), -and- get outside to enjoy the beauty of the day!

I was looking through one of my journals I kept when I was working -and- came upon this quote from Arthur Miller, in ‘Death of a Salesman;’

‘Why am I trying to become what I don’t want to be … when all I want is out there, waiting for me the minute I say I know who I am.”

Although this quote can be important to us at any phase of our life, it holds a greater purpose and becomes more important during our Encore years when we must reset our purpose and meaning without the anchors provided during our careers.

Our real identity isn’t what we do for work. It’s what we do when work stops defining us.

The art of understanding our (later) Life’s purpose relies upon us finally learning the difference between activity and meaning.

We can fill our days with plenty of activities, ( book clubs, volunteering, taking classes, etc.) -and- nothing wrong with these activities. However, if we are just filling our days with these activities to ‘stay busy and fill the hours,’ we will become exhausted, irritable, and somehow still feel empty. Or we might look to spend our time remaining in contact with Family and dear Friends who live out of town, teaching young children how to read, etc. -and- we might just feel a rush of energy.

The difference between them isn’t about being busy or lazy. It’s about understanding that retirement isn’t a void to fill with random activities, but an opportunity to fill our days with something meaningful.

Don’t fall into a trap of replicating what You were doing when working into your retirement  years.

Taking care of a 60 something + when we are not certain what that looks like (now) is far different then when we were thinking about that (60 something +) when we were in our 40’s.

If You’re in that tunnel right now, wondering who You are without your job title, know this: it’s your psyche making room for something new, even when You can’t see what that might be yet.

Think about it. When we are younger, our purpose often comes prepackaged with our roles – parent, employee, spouse, caregiver. These identities give us direction.

Retirement on the other hand strips away many of these automatic purposes. Suddenly we have to actively decide what gives our days meaning.

This isn’t a crisis. It’s an opportunity. Maybe, for the first time in decades, we get to choose our purpose based on who we’ve become, not who we needed to be for others

Meaningful activities have a different quality than time-fillers. They energize rather than drain. They create stories worth telling. They connect us to something larger than our daily routine. They usually involve some form of creation or contribution. They align with our values we’ve held for decades, even if we couldn’t act on them before. They often involve passing something on, whether that is knowledge, skill or our wisdom.

Contrast this with the taking a class to learn to play an instrument or paint because everything You read or people tell You; “try new things in retirement.” There is nothing wrong with taking classes to learn how to (do) something… however, make sure it is not just an activity without meaning to You.

How do we find our (new) purpose -and- not just stay busy?

Well, we can begin by paying attention to what genuinely energizes us versus what leaves us exhausted -or- notice the difference between satisfaction and tiredness at the end of the day.

We can even examine what would we would choose if we didn’t have to prove anything to anyone, including yourself?

Finally, we could look at our past for clues. What themes have run through our life? What have we always cared about but never had time to pursue? What skills or knowledge do we have that could benefit others?

Purpose doesn’t have to be grand or world-changing. It just has to matter to You in a way that is not about checking boxes on some list.

I have experienced one of the hardest part to transitioning into our Encore phase since we have been programmed through our (career/working) days on productivity is, (ready for this), learning that one meaningful activity can be worth ten meaningless ones. Understanding that an empty calendar doesn’t equal an empty life!

The trick is to understand and accept to thrive does not mean having a full calendar. Rather, it’s learning to distinguish between what keeps us busy and what keeps us alive! Retirement isn’t about finding ways to fill the time we have left, but about finally having time for what fills us.

Should You find yourself struggling with retirement or approaching it with dread, remember this: the transition isn’t about replacing our old busy with a new busy. It’s about finally having the freedom to choose activities that align with who we really are, not who we had to be.

We need to stop measuring our days by how much we do -and- start measuring them by how much what we do matters to us.

Continue stepping forward in the ‘Encore Phase‘ with enthusiasm and eagerness -and- please continue to take care of yourself, make the most of your days -and- always remember;

“Never quit searching, never settle and never give up seeking your greater purpose!“